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Restaurant Engrish
“Lie Fallow” means “in your spare time, without a prior appointment” in Engrish. Everybody loves Engrish, the surreal dialect of English found on signs, in menus, on clothing etc. in the Far East....
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With the Theme of Engrish
Fecal sample submission window. Dan, be cake. Because the Danish-Belgian Cake Company says so. “Busen” means “breasts” in German and “the naughty one” in Swedish. No appointment needed. Come whenever...
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On My Mind, Sunday
I’m a single dad now for two weeks while my wife’s in China shooting interviews for a documentary series. Aard’s been getting a lot of comment spam lately, and the filter isn’t working properly, so...
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Hot Troll/Cow Action in Big One Magazine
Bamse magazine is one of Sweden’s most beloved childrens’ publications, with a readership mainly about age 10. Its title character’s name does mean “The Big One”. But still, I must say that I was as...
View ArticleSinger And Jowly Do Drugs On The Commuter Train
Friday was quite a day for me: wake up at 5 after a restless night, travel by air, give test lecture, get praised beyond belief, eat excellent mutton & cabbage, do very friendly interview, become...
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Miskatonic School for Girls
So yeah, Kickstarter now offers you the opportunity to back a card game set in a Lovecraftian girl school. Via Kenneth Hite.
View ArticleHe’s Not Annoying
Juniorette: “So Thomas had his semla cream bun and he said he liked it, but later he threw up.” Me: “Thomas? Is he a new boy in your class? Haven’t heard of him before?” Juniorette: “No, he’s not...
View ArticleMutual Support
Early 20th century, a newlywed couple celebrates their wedding night at a hotel. In the morning, the young man chivalrously pricks his finger with his pen knife and smears some blood on the bedsheet....
View ArticleQuaint Local Pronunciation
My boss at the Academy of Letters used to head the National Archives. Here’s a story he told over coffee the other day. Some decades ago a delegation of Swedish archivists was driving across the...
View ArticleDepeche Mode Meets Tom Lehrer
In your room Where time stands still Or moves at your will Will you let the morning come soon As we dance to the Masochism Tango I ache for the touch of your lips, dear But much more for the touch of...
View ArticleAncient Seeress Foresees Twilight of Gods and Scented Candles
This is priceless. There’s a line of scented candles and other spa treatment paraphernalia called Voluspa. Volu-spa, get it? Now, the firm shows no awareness of what their chosen name means. Völuspá is...
View ArticleInfinite Etiquette Recursion On Staircase
Wolf warrior David Huggins reminded me of the greatest conundrum in finer etiquette: how a gentleman should behave when approaching the lower end of a narrow staircase while in conversation with a...
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Nudge, nudge
Only one of these books was given a title with the word “nudge” in it by people with a frame of reference similar to mine. Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Thaler &...
View ArticleArrival Songs
The English language has a rich tradition of songs celebrating the joys of orgasm. Here are just a few examples. Sumer Is Icumen In (anon., 13th century) Come Again (John Dowland, 1597) Come, Thou...
View ArticleI Believe In Robert Lind
Here’s my translation of a classic 1979 revue routine by Hans Alfredson and Tage Danielsson. Kramfors is a town of 6000 inhabitants in central Sweden, near the 62nd parallel. —– TD: New religions keep...
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A Tangled Tale Of The Arabian Nights
Most story boardgames don’t let you do much tactically to influence the results or win. I’ve reported previously on what a game of Arkham Horror (2005) can be like. And I’ve played Betrayal At House...
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Announcing My New Essay Collection
In December of last year I finished a collection of short humorous archaeological essays. It’s my sixth book, my first one in Swedish, my first one aimed at the lay reader. Since then I’ve been waiting...
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